Blogging
I was first introduced to blogging when i was in secondary school. Back then, it was a very 'in' thing and almost everyone, even boys, in your school had a blog. Blog simply acts like a online diary where people will pen down their thoughts almost daily for other who care for them to read. Without any surprise, i start to create a blog for my friends to know what had happened in my life. I can actually still remember my first url i had, it's called good-for-nothing-galgal. Well, i know it's funny and nonsensical but i am not very good at coming up with names.
One thing i love about blogging is that I CAN STALK! I can stalk the people i love, those i hate and even strangers. I used to love blog-hopping and just read random posts online about my schoolmates. That is when i know a lot of gossips- who had a crush on whoever, what mischievous things they had done outside school and so on. I would also leave comments in their tagboard under the name 'anonymous' so that they would not know who i am.
However, right now, people hardly blog and it is hard for me to know how my friends are doing right now, given their busy schedule. So i had less and less blogs to read in my free time. Luckily i still had those famous bloggers' blogs to read such as xiaxue and bong qiuqiu. Their blog posts are really interesting and funny. Especially with all the critics about xiaxue (which i dont know why people hate her). I mean, well, its her own blog so she can post anything she wanted, whether you wanna read it or not it's your choice so there is no need to criticize whatever she wrote if you do not like whatever you read.
Well, i will say "Just blog! That's what blogs are for."
Recovery phase
Thank God my surgery went well! (:
i could hardly sleep on the night before surgery (well, i guess its normal). Was worried of cos so i got up at 6am for shower and prepare for surgery. My family members came shortly after and they followed me all the way to operating theatre. I tell you, the feeeling can almost be related to those you saw on typical dramas. on the side note, the operating theatre is kinds different. not much equipment and gadgets as those you see in drama. It a room painted glossy white with a bed in the middle and those operating light and buttons on the wall. hmm. sounds like spaceship ? and i was with 4-5people before my surgeon even came. was chatting with them will the he gave me2 shots and i concussed without knowing. wts! its a cool experience.
\\\\8pm//////
the next moment i rmb was having so many family members surrounding me as i only can see heads and me pulling the tube off my nose. IT IS SUPER IRRITATING! i dont know where am i, i cant see their faces clearly, i talked but no sound came out and got this goddam irritating thing stucked in my throat through the nose such that whenever ibreathe, it went a little further into my nose and down my throat and obstruct my breathing! was so fustrated and agitated until the nurse could not take it and plug out the tube for me and i immediately went back to slp. Those memories... are so obscure.. It just seems like a superdrunk state and hangover.
\\\\2am////
the next vivid moment was 2am. i woke up feeling thirsty and i called for the nurse. the funny thing is, i was feeling thirsty, i drank, i vomitted and i called for the nurse to feed me water. this cycle went on till 5am.. haha.
the next day afternoon, i looked at myself, 6 holes from injection on my hand, 1 big cut at my groin, 2 small stitches in the middle of my chest , 2 holes in my neck swollen, 2 drainage tubes - one in my private part, one under my right armpit, and my whole right chest is bandaged. how coool is that
despite all these, i considered the least wounded as compare to those who had a big and long cut right in the middle of the chest. i was more fortunate. Given my age, im able to heal a lot faster than normal. 2nd day after surgery, im already walking down the aisle of wards for my physiotherapy with some aid. and 6days after the surgery, im discharged. Maybe becuz im young or my heart gets very excited as its healed, my normal pulse is now 120++.. i dont know whether its normal though the surgeon said it will be higher than normal but this high?? im not sure.. i also had numbness in my chest area and my legs. im breathless easily too and i didnt know that passing motion and changing of clothes can be that tiring. after those activities, i will immediately lie against my bed and catching my breath before i walk out of the room to watch tv. hope i will really recover fast and regain my normal health to start my normal activities again.. i guess mayb i need a month..
but still, im really blessed (:
while waiting for op...
my life after diagnosis was ordinary - meeting awesome people, having yummy delicacies, napping my day away and reading storybooks. it feels kinda like the normal me.. healthy, active, and positive. Hence, i may thought ( and hoped) that my heart valve has repaired by itself miraculously.
In the midst of waiting for surgery, i have celebrated my awesome 21st birthday at pasirr ris costa sands chalet. :D its a 3D2N chalet from fri - sun, 6-8sept.
The first day was spent with boy and bros. BBQ-ing and playing games. 'Dare or Dare-er'. Was really fun prank calling people! haha. followed by Circle of death which i cant really drink. Sad. No hard liquor in my life anymore. ): and i concussed at 430am while the other continue staying.
2nd day was the celebration for my bday. however, we went out to IT fair at expo at noon as boy, brandon and friends wanna but laptop for school. so i only went back to chalet at 5plus. after that i was busy decorating n entertaining guests. People and friends start to arrive group by group! kinda touched that many of them came for my bday. thats why i cried before giving my birthday speech. the feeling is overwhelming.
It was really one of the greatest gathering before my surgery and i hope for more after my op. Thank you all to those who have attended and your presents as well. really love them to bits. <3 I really didnt regret organising it though i may b reluctant and it was really troublesome initially. but yes! im glad i did! :D
Right now, i have just finished reading a storybook - The fault in our stars. It was really a great book talking about cancer patients and what they went through. Of cos, there is always a love story in many books. It was really a touching book with a great twist. No wonder its new york times best seller. i cried while reading the book over at boy's. he scolded me crazy and leave me to cry while i continue reading. i must say the love between 2 cancer patients can be so pure, so innocent such that when you think of 'normal' couples quarreling over minor matters become so insignificant and minute. Quoting from the book, " true love is born from hard times".
Kudos to the author - John Green for writing such wonderful story.
The Hard Truth
One of my doctors actually phoned me up a few days back to tell me that she had referred me to NUH heart clinic to talk to a surgeon there.
So i went down on mon to see Dr Jimmy Hon, one of the heart surgeon about my surgery. He told me about my condition, the available treatments, the risks involved and the consequences. I guess doctors always have to prepare his patients for the worst as it is their responsibility to do so. So he told me i MUST do a heart valve replacement with a mechanical one as my heart valve is severely damaged and the blood is literally leaking like a free-flowing tap. However, i can choose to either do it by the traditional way of opening my chest then my rib cage to get access to my heart, or i can go by the side of my body and get access in between my ribs (minimally invasive surgery). The minimally invasive surgery is a new method which gives better result such as shorter recovery period, smaller scar, less infection. However, there are risks involve such as the operation death rate is 4% and i may have stroke, becoming handicap, blood clog at heart which is dangerous,life long medication to dilute my blood so that is wont be so thick to clog up my heart and dangerous pregnancy. Despite all these risks and consequences, i still have to undergo this surgery since i do not have other choices. When all these facts are thrown to my family and i, its really very hard to digest immediately.
The very next day, i went to visit another surgeon who will be the one doing the minimally invasive surgery. He is Associate Prof Kofidis. He is the one who brought this new surgery technique from western countries into Singapore. Hence i did a research about him and turn out, he is reported by the newspaper and have mnay successful cases. Therefore i have decided to choose him as my surgeon and the date is set on 23sept2013 at NUH since he will only be back from vacation on the 18sept.
With this, i guess i have to stop schooling for one sem to concentrate on recovery and the school is kind enough to help me in admin matters. kinda sad that i have to lack one sem but health is the most impt thing right now. and i have to remain positive and have strong willpower!
God bless me!
2 Weeks stay in CDC 1
I was having a very high fever on the 21st july when i was at boy's house. i thought it would be the usual fever due to throat infection, or flu or because i was having my period. however, it did not turn out to be what i have expected.
I had body aches, high fever, diahrrea, vomiting. It was terrible. my mum and sis witnessed my suffering so they had decided to bring me to KTPH A&E dept whichh is just opp my house at 1am. i did a dengue test but it turned out to be negative and i went home at 4plus am. Subsequently, we went to my family doc and he had prescribed me all the best medication he had for virial fever (which is what all the western docs had suspected) and did several blood test again as i am not really convinced that i did not have dengue despite all the symptoms. We even turned to chinese sinsei and they
told me it was 'mo tan', which means the heatiness is trapped in your body and couldnt escape. So we did tried the traditional way of treating 'mo tan' but my fever did not subside.
Finally, i was having fever for 10days and my mum decided to bring me to TTSH and be warded. I was being warded at CDC1 which is mainly for patients with infectious disease and dengue fever (i dunno why they put me there). everyday, im going for scans after scan and drawing more blood for blood test but they could not find the reason until the 4th day of my admission. one night, i was going to the toilet in my ward when i felt a pain in my 4th left toe. It was sore and there was some marks on it. so i told the doc the next morning and he suspected that there is a prob with my heart. Thus, i was sent for ECG the next day and they applied some gel to my chest and started scanning. it was painful as the doc literally rolled the scanner over your breast and pressed on it. She switched on the sound so i could actually hear my own heart and then i heard a murmur which is unusual. The result was out in the afternoon and yes, there's a bacteria infection at my heart valve known as endocarditis. This is usually caused by dental checkup, injecting drugs or maybe i had a heart valve that is not closing propery since young and i guess its the 3rd one.
I was given antibiotics the subsequent week but because they did not know the name of the bacteria in my heart as the blood cultures were not out so they tried 3 diff types of antibiotics on me so basically i am injected with antibiotics every 1-2hr. fortunately, this does not last long. 2days later, they finally found out what the bac was -hemophyllus and i was given antibiotic once daily. so my fever went down but only came back at night and i felt breathless sometimes due to the heart valve not closing properly.
I had to spend the holidays ie.Hari Raya and national day in the hospital and skipped my friends' 21st bday parties. fortunately, i have many loving friends who came to visit me and of cos my boy and my family members. almost everyday, i had diff grp of friends who came and also my relatives. Really had to thank them. i also had to thank my family who had to cook for me every meal (cuz the hospital food sucks) and tolerate my nonsense and helped me in my needs since my right hand could hardly move due to insertion of a tube directly into my heart from my arm for antibiotics injection. i also had to thank my boy who came down to visit me whenever im free, sending my frenz to and fro from hospital and download movies into laptop so i can watch whenever im bored. he even bought me 2 gifts, one for monthsary- a knit top and one for discharge- a kate spade wallet. i told him the wallet is unnecessary but well he bought it.
Currently, im discharged on the 14th aug and back in school. but i had a medical cert till 7th sept but i dont wanna miss school and i also have to go back to TTSH for antibiotics injection everyday till 31st Aug. So everyday i have to go sch with a bandage that wrap up my tube that is at my arm in case i scare anyone. haha. and probably, i may need a heart surgery to cose / change my heart vave to avoid any complication or risks in the future but it is still not confirmed.
All in all, i am sick for 3 weeks and really having a fever is no joke so please do not take fever lightly and always visit a doc whenever ill. health is wealth, really.
A.C.T
In life, it is all about acting. People will always put up an act in front on you no matter what.This may be unintentional or deliberate, no one knows. There is always a Chinese saying " 人生如戏, 戏如人生 ". Life and acting always coincide. Like it or not,it's inevitable. That is the reason why there is an occupation that reads actors/ actresses. They are allowed to act in front of cameras, they are recognized but that doesn't mean they are the only existing actors/ actresses. In fact, almost every living soul can be called an actor / actresses.
There are similarities between occupational actors and people. First, occupational actor has directors to guide them, to tell them what's right what's wrong. It is likewise for people. Environment pressure and parents are our directors. They guide us and shape us into who we are today.
Also, we have audience. Our family and friends are our audience, they see how we behave, how we act in order to reach our goals.
For example, when you are young, you tried to cry in order to get your parents to buy the toys you wanted. Isn't that acting? you thought that by crying, you are able to get what you wanted. Unfortunately, this is short-lived. Then, in teenage life, your parents and teachers often asked you to study hard, earn big bucks and be a useful person in the future. So you tried to be hardworking and forego your carefree life just to act according to their commands. Then, you are finally an adult and this is one of the phases in life you have to act the most. you have to act when you are at an interview, act as if you are very knowledgeable and professional; in front of bosses you have to act hardworking and show your enthusiasm in your job in order to get promotion. This is what i called 'acting in life'.
Finally, you are at the last phase of life and thought that you can put all the acting to a stop. you are wrong. when you grow old, all the sickness and illnesses will come to you. So in front of your loved ones,you have to act strong and act as though it is painless when you are actually suffering. For example, my dad. He is one that doesnt want his family to worry about him too much. He went for operation before and have to be hospitalised. i can still rmb vividly his expression till now. As you know, elderly or in fact anyone doesnt like the idea of staying in hospital especially overnight so we offered to stay with him. But knowing his character, he will say "no, im fine. you guys go home and slp.". so we were about to take our leave. thats when he said another sentence " Rmb to come visit me tmr morning." Then i knew, deep down he's scared and doesnt want us to take our leave. In addition, every now and then he would have pain at his abdomen area due to the operation but he would just say he is tired and walked to his room with his hands putting on his abdomen.
Hence, people may act for different reasons. some may act in order to succeed in life or act so that their loved one will not worry.
This is life.
Rediscover yourself
I was talking to boy a few minutes and got some enlightenment from there.
We were discussing about my job interviews and etc.
During the discussion, i came to realize that actually getting a job during holiday is not impt,
what's important is to rediscover yourself.
Use this period of time to relax, put all the academic aside and get to know yourself again, to reassure what is your passion, your aspirations and then self improvise to move towards your goals.
you may be disappointed not having a job, no income to buy your wants but from another point of view, you can take this time off to freshen yourself up i.e go for a break, go exercise, go get some self help books, or go sightseeing.
at the end of the day, you will have a stronger body, a healthier mind to face the upcoming challenges that you gonna face in time to come. (:
So people, just chill and stop worrying about having no money and so on!
Blogging
I was first introduced to blogging when i was in secondary school. Back then, it was a very 'in' thing and almost everyone, even boys, in your school had a blog. Blog simply acts like a online diary where people will pen down their thoughts almost daily for other who care for them to read. Without any surprise, i start to create a blog for my friends to know what had happened in my life. I can actually still remember my first url i had, it's called good-for-nothing-galgal. Well, i know it's funny and nonsensical but i am not very good at coming up with names.
One thing i love about blogging is that I CAN STALK! I can stalk the people i love, those i hate and even strangers. I used to love blog-hopping and just read random posts online about my schoolmates. That is when i know a lot of gossips- who had a crush on whoever, what mischievous things they had done outside school and so on. I would also leave comments in their tagboard under the name 'anonymous' so that they would not know who i am.
However, right now, people hardly blog and it is hard for me to know how my friends are doing right now, given their busy schedule. So i had less and less blogs to read in my free time. Luckily i still had those famous bloggers' blogs to read such as xiaxue and bong qiuqiu. Their blog posts are really interesting and funny. Especially with all the critics about xiaxue (which i dont know why people hate her). I mean, well, its her own blog so she can post anything she wanted, whether you wanna read it or not it's your choice so there is no need to criticize whatever she wrote if you do not like whatever you read.
Well, i will say "Just blog! That's what blogs are for."
Recovery phase
Thank God my surgery went well! (:
i could hardly sleep on the night before surgery (well, i guess its normal). Was worried of cos so i got up at 6am for shower and prepare for surgery. My family members came shortly after and they followed me all the way to operating theatre. I tell you, the feeeling can almost be related to those you saw on typical dramas. on the side note, the operating theatre is kinds different. not much equipment and gadgets as those you see in drama. It a room painted glossy white with a bed in the middle and those operating light and buttons on the wall. hmm. sounds like spaceship ? and i was with 4-5people before my surgeon even came. was chatting with them will the he gave me2 shots and i concussed without knowing. wts! its a cool experience.
\\\\8pm//////
the next moment i rmb was having so many family members surrounding me as i only can see heads and me pulling the tube off my nose. IT IS SUPER IRRITATING! i dont know where am i, i cant see their faces clearly, i talked but no sound came out and got this goddam irritating thing stucked in my throat through the nose such that whenever ibreathe, it went a little further into my nose and down my throat and obstruct my breathing! was so fustrated and agitated until the nurse could not take it and plug out the tube for me and i immediately went back to slp. Those memories... are so obscure.. It just seems like a superdrunk state and hangover.
\\\\2am////
the next vivid moment was 2am. i woke up feeling thirsty and i called for the nurse. the funny thing is, i was feeling thirsty, i drank, i vomitted and i called for the nurse to feed me water. this cycle went on till 5am.. haha.
the next day afternoon, i looked at myself, 6 holes from injection on my hand, 1 big cut at my groin, 2 small stitches in the middle of my chest , 2 holes in my neck swollen, 2 drainage tubes - one in my private part, one under my right armpit, and my whole right chest is bandaged. how coool is that
despite all these, i considered the least wounded as compare to those who had a big and long cut right in the middle of the chest. i was more fortunate. Given my age, im able to heal a lot faster than normal. 2nd day after surgery, im already walking down the aisle of wards for my physiotherapy with some aid. and 6days after the surgery, im discharged. Maybe becuz im young or my heart gets very excited as its healed, my normal pulse is now 120++.. i dont know whether its normal though the surgeon said it will be higher than normal but this high?? im not sure.. i also had numbness in my chest area and my legs. im breathless easily too and i didnt know that passing motion and changing of clothes can be that tiring. after those activities, i will immediately lie against my bed and catching my breath before i walk out of the room to watch tv. hope i will really recover fast and regain my normal health to start my normal activities again.. i guess mayb i need a month..
but still, im really blessed (:
while waiting for op...
my life after diagnosis was ordinary - meeting awesome people, having yummy delicacies, napping my day away and reading storybooks. it feels kinda like the normal me.. healthy, active, and positive. Hence, i may thought ( and hoped) that my heart valve has repaired by itself miraculously.
In the midst of waiting for surgery, i have celebrated my awesome 21st birthday at pasirr ris costa sands chalet. :D its a 3D2N chalet from fri - sun, 6-8sept.
The first day was spent with boy and bros. BBQ-ing and playing games. 'Dare or Dare-er'. Was really fun prank calling people! haha. followed by Circle of death which i cant really drink. Sad. No hard liquor in my life anymore. ): and i concussed at 430am while the other continue staying.
2nd day was the celebration for my bday. however, we went out to IT fair at expo at noon as boy, brandon and friends wanna but laptop for school. so i only went back to chalet at 5plus. after that i was busy decorating n entertaining guests. People and friends start to arrive group by group! kinda touched that many of them came for my bday. thats why i cried before giving my birthday speech. the feeling is overwhelming.
It was really one of the greatest gathering before my surgery and i hope for more after my op. Thank you all to those who have attended and your presents as well. really love them to bits. <3 I really didnt regret organising it though i may b reluctant and it was really troublesome initially. but yes! im glad i did! :D
Right now, i have just finished reading a storybook - The fault in our stars. It was really a great book talking about cancer patients and what they went through. Of cos, there is always a love story in many books. It was really a touching book with a great twist. No wonder its new york times best seller. i cried while reading the book over at boy's. he scolded me crazy and leave me to cry while i continue reading. i must say the love between 2 cancer patients can be so pure, so innocent such that when you think of 'normal' couples quarreling over minor matters become so insignificant and minute. Quoting from the book, " true love is born from hard times".
Kudos to the author - John Green for writing such wonderful story.
The Hard Truth
One of my doctors actually phoned me up a few days back to tell me that she had referred me to NUH heart clinic to talk to a surgeon there.
So i went down on mon to see Dr Jimmy Hon, one of the heart surgeon about my surgery. He told me about my condition, the available treatments, the risks involved and the consequences. I guess doctors always have to prepare his patients for the worst as it is their responsibility to do so. So he told me i MUST do a heart valve replacement with a mechanical one as my heart valve is severely damaged and the blood is literally leaking like a free-flowing tap. However, i can choose to either do it by the traditional way of opening my chest then my rib cage to get access to my heart, or i can go by the side of my body and get access in between my ribs (minimally invasive surgery). The minimally invasive surgery is a new method which gives better result such as shorter recovery period, smaller scar, less infection. However, there are risks involve such as the operation death rate is 4% and i may have stroke, becoming handicap, blood clog at heart which is dangerous,life long medication to dilute my blood so that is wont be so thick to clog up my heart and dangerous pregnancy. Despite all these risks and consequences, i still have to undergo this surgery since i do not have other choices. When all these facts are thrown to my family and i, its really very hard to digest immediately.
The very next day, i went to visit another surgeon who will be the one doing the minimally invasive surgery. He is Associate Prof Kofidis. He is the one who brought this new surgery technique from western countries into Singapore. Hence i did a research about him and turn out, he is reported by the newspaper and have mnay successful cases. Therefore i have decided to choose him as my surgeon and the date is set on 23sept2013 at NUH since he will only be back from vacation on the 18sept.
With this, i guess i have to stop schooling for one sem to concentrate on recovery and the school is kind enough to help me in admin matters. kinda sad that i have to lack one sem but health is the most impt thing right now. and i have to remain positive and have strong willpower!
God bless me!
2 Weeks stay in CDC 1
I was having a very high fever on the 21st july when i was at boy's house. i thought it would be the usual fever due to throat infection, or flu or because i was having my period. however, it did not turn out to be what i have expected.
I had body aches, high fever, diahrrea, vomiting. It was terrible. my mum and sis witnessed my suffering so they had decided to bring me to KTPH A&E dept whichh is just opp my house at 1am. i did a dengue test but it turned out to be negative and i went home at 4plus am. Subsequently, we went to my family doc and he had prescribed me all the best medication he had for virial fever (which is what all the western docs had suspected) and did several blood test again as i am not really convinced that i did not have dengue despite all the symptoms. We even turned to chinese sinsei and they
told me it was 'mo tan', which means the heatiness is trapped in your body and couldnt escape. So we did tried the traditional way of treating 'mo tan' but my fever did not subside.
Finally, i was having fever for 10days and my mum decided to bring me to TTSH and be warded. I was being warded at CDC1 which is mainly for patients with infectious disease and dengue fever (i dunno why they put me there). everyday, im going for scans after scan and drawing more blood for blood test but they could not find the reason until the 4th day of my admission. one night, i was going to the toilet in my ward when i felt a pain in my 4th left toe. It was sore and there was some marks on it. so i told the doc the next morning and he suspected that there is a prob with my heart. Thus, i was sent for ECG the next day and they applied some gel to my chest and started scanning. it was painful as the doc literally rolled the scanner over your breast and pressed on it. She switched on the sound so i could actually hear my own heart and then i heard a murmur which is unusual. The result was out in the afternoon and yes, there's a bacteria infection at my heart valve known as endocarditis. This is usually caused by dental checkup, injecting drugs or maybe i had a heart valve that is not closing propery since young and i guess its the 3rd one.
I was given antibiotics the subsequent week but because they did not know the name of the bacteria in my heart as the blood cultures were not out so they tried 3 diff types of antibiotics on me so basically i am injected with antibiotics every 1-2hr. fortunately, this does not last long. 2days later, they finally found out what the bac was -hemophyllus and i was given antibiotic once daily. so my fever went down but only came back at night and i felt breathless sometimes due to the heart valve not closing properly.
I had to spend the holidays ie.Hari Raya and national day in the hospital and skipped my friends' 21st bday parties. fortunately, i have many loving friends who came to visit me and of cos my boy and my family members. almost everyday, i had diff grp of friends who came and also my relatives. Really had to thank them. i also had to thank my family who had to cook for me every meal (cuz the hospital food sucks) and tolerate my nonsense and helped me in my needs since my right hand could hardly move due to insertion of a tube directly into my heart from my arm for antibiotics injection. i also had to thank my boy who came down to visit me whenever im free, sending my frenz to and fro from hospital and download movies into laptop so i can watch whenever im bored. he even bought me 2 gifts, one for monthsary- a knit top and one for discharge- a kate spade wallet. i told him the wallet is unnecessary but well he bought it.
Currently, im discharged on the 14th aug and back in school. but i had a medical cert till 7th sept but i dont wanna miss school and i also have to go back to TTSH for antibiotics injection everyday till 31st Aug. So everyday i have to go sch with a bandage that wrap up my tube that is at my arm in case i scare anyone. haha. and probably, i may need a heart surgery to cose / change my heart vave to avoid any complication or risks in the future but it is still not confirmed.
All in all, i am sick for 3 weeks and really having a fever is no joke so please do not take fever lightly and always visit a doc whenever ill. health is wealth, really.
A.C.T
In life, it is all about acting. People will always put up an act in front on you no matter what.This may be unintentional or deliberate, no one knows. There is always a Chinese saying " 人生如戏, 戏如人生 ". Life and acting always coincide. Like it or not,it's inevitable. That is the reason why there is an occupation that reads actors/ actresses. They are allowed to act in front of cameras, they are recognized but that doesn't mean they are the only existing actors/ actresses. In fact, almost every living soul can be called an actor / actresses.
There are similarities between occupational actors and people. First, occupational actor has directors to guide them, to tell them what's right what's wrong. It is likewise for people. Environment pressure and parents are our directors. They guide us and shape us into who we are today.
Also, we have audience. Our family and friends are our audience, they see how we behave, how we act in order to reach our goals.
For example, when you are young, you tried to cry in order to get your parents to buy the toys you wanted. Isn't that acting? you thought that by crying, you are able to get what you wanted. Unfortunately, this is short-lived. Then, in teenage life, your parents and teachers often asked you to study hard, earn big bucks and be a useful person in the future. So you tried to be hardworking and forego your carefree life just to act according to their commands. Then, you are finally an adult and this is one of the phases in life you have to act the most. you have to act when you are at an interview, act as if you are very knowledgeable and professional; in front of bosses you have to act hardworking and show your enthusiasm in your job in order to get promotion. This is what i called 'acting in life'.
Finally, you are at the last phase of life and thought that you can put all the acting to a stop. you are wrong. when you grow old, all the sickness and illnesses will come to you. So in front of your loved ones,you have to act strong and act as though it is painless when you are actually suffering. For example, my dad. He is one that doesnt want his family to worry about him too much. He went for operation before and have to be hospitalised. i can still rmb vividly his expression till now. As you know, elderly or in fact anyone doesnt like the idea of staying in hospital especially overnight so we offered to stay with him. But knowing his character, he will say "no, im fine. you guys go home and slp.". so we were about to take our leave. thats when he said another sentence " Rmb to come visit me tmr morning." Then i knew, deep down he's scared and doesnt want us to take our leave. In addition, every now and then he would have pain at his abdomen area due to the operation but he would just say he is tired and walked to his room with his hands putting on his abdomen.
Hence, people may act for different reasons. some may act in order to succeed in life or act so that their loved one will not worry.
This is life.
Rediscover yourself
I was talking to boy a few minutes and got some enlightenment from there.
We were discussing about my job interviews and etc.
During the discussion, i came to realize that actually getting a job during holiday is not impt,
what's important is to rediscover yourself.
Use this period of time to relax, put all the academic aside and get to know yourself again, to reassure what is your passion, your aspirations and then self improvise to move towards your goals.
you may be disappointed not having a job, no income to buy your wants but from another point of view, you can take this time off to freshen yourself up i.e go for a break, go exercise, go get some self help books, or go sightseeing.
at the end of the day, you will have a stronger body, a healthier mind to face the upcoming challenges that you gonna face in time to come. (:
So people, just chill and stop worrying about having no money and so on!
